Loving You
by Faithful Dreamer
Summary: Born with a heart condition, she was never treated normally. Determined to help his sister see again, he never made friends. The only person they can confide in is each other. Whether it will end in happiness or pain, only time will tell. MxN -2-


**Greetings, fellow fanfiction readers :) I can't tell you how hard it was to come up with this story…but in the end I'm satisfied with the one I've managed to whip up. In case you're wondering why this was so hard to come up with…(or maybe I just feel like telling someone :P) it's because there are just sooo many MikanxNatsume stories, that it's hard to try to come up with an original story when almost EVERYTHING has already been used. There's been love/hate relationships, transfer students, masters and maids, geeks and jocks, music school, trainers and athletes, kidnappers and kidnap-ees, and yes, even stories where Mikan has a disease…did I forget any?? No offense to those who write those stories of course, each one is different and I actually LOVE all these plots, but I desperately tried to come up with something different, and here's what I came up with! It's still has a common setting, but hopefully it'll still be different in its own way. Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice, if I did it'd be the worst manga in the history of bad manga :P Oh, but I got the details of Mikan's illness(explained later in the story) and the idea of Mikan having an illness at all from a little, generally unknown manga called Habun no Tsuki ga Noboru Sora**

**Loving You**

Mikan sighed. She hated it. She knew she should be happy; after all, she was finally going to return to Gakuen Alice after weeks of staying in the hospital. But why couldn't she bring herself to smile? Mikan looked up at the wide gates of Gakuen Alice, taking a deep breath before stepping within the gates.

She had finally been released from the hospital, though she knew that it she'd be back in soon enough; she was too sick to stay outside for long. After a few days, they would have her lying on that terrible bed, surrounded by nothing but white. She always hated the hospital; where there was nothing to distract her, where she was left alone in a colorless room with her own sickly body and enclosed by the sounds of people in pain all around her. Mikan hated those sounds more than anything. They made her think of the day that maybe she would be the one crying out in pain, the one who caused their family and friends to cry endlessly until they couldn't even muster the energy needed to cry anymore.

Mikan continued to walk towards her classroom, feeling more dread with each step she took. She could finally see her friends again, could finally act like a normal teenage girl, one without a heart condition. But every time was the same. She took another deep breath before entering the classroom. When she entered all heads turned towards her.

"Ano, ohayo mina –san…" She gave a small smile. They looked at her for a while before looking away awkwardly. They never knew how to treat her. It made sense, she knew. How could they say something like 'How have you been' when they already knew that she had been in the hospital because she was too ill to come outside? And they couldn't possibly tell them what _they_ had been up to; it would be like bragging. It wasn't that they hated her; they just never knew how to act around her. Mikan played with the thought as her friends approached.

Anna and Nonoko walked up to her, grinning. "Welcome back," Nonoko greeted as Anna smiled warmly at her.

"We all missed you, you know."

Mikan beamed back at her, "I know. It's great to be back." She felt a stab of pain when she said those words. Mikan wished that she could say them whole-heartedly.

"Honestly! I can't believe the way these people are treating you!" Sumire walked towards them with a joking smile on her face. "Thank god we're not like that, neh?"

"Baka, if we were anything like _them_, feel free to kill me now." Hotaru spoke briskly and seriously, not joking as Sumire had. "Don't mind them, Mikan; they're all bigger idiots than even you are."

Mikan looked at them all; Anna, Nonoko, Sumire, and Hotaru, and broke out into a wide grin. "Thanks guys, you're the best." She proceeded to give each and every one a hug, lingering after Hotaru didn't dodge her hug. Maybe school won't be all that bad, today.

Mikan, Hotaru, Sumire, and Nonoko walked through the halls, all heading to their next classes. Nonoko talked with Mikan as they maneuvered through the thick crowds, stopping once Mikan heard the familiar whispers.

"Hey, look, it's that girl with some disease in 3-B."

"I heard her parents died when she was little, and she has no relatives left. So whenever she isn't in the hospital, she has to stay there overnight anyways."

"I heard that she never talks to anyone beside her four friends. People said it's because she's jealous of healthy people and wishes they could all be sick like her. What the hell is with that?! Just because she has some stupid heart problems doesn't mean she can do whatever she wants."

"Eww, what if she caught something from the other patients and gives it to us? We better stay away from her."

"No, you idiot, if she was sick, then she wouldn't be outside right now! But I heard that she's always in the hospital and only get to come out when she's healthy enough. Even then, she doesn't have any family to come back to. Looking at her makes me a little appreciative of my family, though, no matter how annoying they can be."

Sumire looked at Mikan and gave a deadly glare to those who were whispering as Hotaru shot Mikan a worried glance, receiving a small smile in return. Sumire put a hand on Mikans shoulder.

"Like Hotaru said earlier, they're all idiots, Mikan. They have nothing better to do than to spread some stupid rumors about people." Sumire gave another glare to onlookers, warning them not to do it again. Mikan smiled gratefully at her.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Sumire." She turned back to Nonoko and continued their idle chatter before Anna pounced up behind them, grabbing Nonoko's shoudler.

"Anna! Where've you been?"

"Oh, washroom, but that doesn't matter! Guess what! They say that there's this really hot transfer student in the class next door to us!" Anna jumped up and down.

"No, way, really?! Did you check and see what he looked like?!? Because if he's another Koko…" Nonokos eyes lit up with laughter and excitement.

"No, this guy isn't spreading rumors about how hot he just to get a girlfriend," Anna giggled, "But that was hilarious! But don't worry, I peeked in, and he is soooo-," Anna cut off when she saw Mikan looking at her. "Ah, sorry, Mikan, I shouldn't have…"

Mikan shook her head quickly. "Oh, no, I don't mind. Tell me some more about the transfer student!" She smiled reassuringly.

"No, you don't have to force yourself. We shouldn't have done that in the first place, not while I was talking to you. I got distracted, I'm ashamed." With that, Nonoko dropped the topic of the new transfer student and continued her conversation with Mikan.

That was what Mikan hated the most. Even her best friends acted this way. They knew she was ill, and they felt the need to be kind and courteous to her, all the time. They never playfully teased her, and the way Nonoko felt ashamed was proof; they didn't even _consider_ the fact that she could join the conversation; that she could laugh and talk about cute guys as well. This was what she hated the most. It's like there's an invisible wall separating her and her friends, all because of some stupid condition that she was born with. They all cared about her; she couldn't be surer about that fact. But they cared so much that they couldn't see past what _they _thought was best for her. She hated it and she loved it all the same.

Once Mikan was in her own classroom without any of her friends in it, Mikan couldn't help being happy, despite the fact that it brought up all kind of dirty feelings inside of her. But finally, finally, she could do schoolwork and distract herself from all these horrid thoughts that kept appearing in her head.

Once school was over, Mikan stayed in the classroom for a bit, trying to memorize every corner of the classroom. After all, she might not be well enough to come back tomorrow. Even if she could never be entirely happy here, Mikan knew that the moments of happiness outnumbered the moments of discomfort by a mile. Satisfied, Mikan began to walk out in to the hallway, where Hotaru had been waiting for her. They gazed at each other for a minute before Hotaru spoke.

"Anna and Nonoko love you, you know? They care about you, and even though you're the biggest idiot who ever lived, they wouldn't hurt you on purpose." Hotaru's face was cold and distant, but her eyes told how she really felt.

"I thought you said everyone else in the class is a bigger idiot than me?" Mikan laughed, avoiding eye contact with her best friend.

"Don't avoid the topic." Mikan froze. She slowly turned to meet Hotaru's gaze, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

"I know that Hotaru. I know all of that but…" Mikan sniffed and stared at the floor, letting her thoughts linger in the air. Hotaru stepped forward, her eyes raging.

"You know _what_? That Anna and Nonoko and Sumire and I all love you more than you can even begin to _imagine_?! That whenever it's a bright and sunny day, we wish you could be here just so that we could share it with you?! That maybe, just maybe, we think about you every single day; whether it's to tell you about some new transfer student, or to compare test grades, or to just have a chance to _be with you!_" Hotaru's voice was raised now, and Mikan could see tears waiting to fall in her eyes. "We really, really love you a lot, and you think that you know all of that? Do you know how much it hurts us whenever we hear rumors about you? When we can't even defend you because you won't even tell _us _how you feel?! How can you possibly know anything when you can never be here with us? All we have of you are _memories. _We say, 'Oh, remember when Mikan used to do this? Remember how she always used to do that?' We hardly know you anymore Mikan, because you're never here. I know that there's nothing you can do about that, and we're all happy for the time we _can _have with you." Hotaru's voice went down to a whisper, "But look at how you act when you _are_ with us." Hotaru look Mikan straight in the eye, showing her how hurt she was. Mikan was shocked. She was at a loss of what to do.

"Hotaru…I, I had no idea that you all felt like this! I've been so selfish and rude and I thought that _I _was the victim, when all along…Oh, Hotaru, I love you all so much, I don't deserve to be with you guys…I've been such a stupid, selfish, self-pitying brat!" Mikan began to sob loudly, collapsing onto the floor and sobbing into her hands. Hotaru knelt down beside her and smiled.

"Baka, how many times do I have to tell you before it finally registers in your stupid head?? Crying makes you 30% more ugly than you already are. Besides, we've also got to be idiots to love you despite all of that." Hotaru's voice was soft and playful, teasing her a bit. Mikan looked up at Hotaru, breaking down once more when Hotaru stretched out her arms, waiting, not to receive, but to offer a hug.

As the two friends walked beyond the gates of Gakuen Alice, Hotaru grabbed Mikans arm.

"This, way, baka; unless you really plan on spending the night in that sad excuse for a hospital." Mikan grinned widely and followed Hotaru as they walked towards her house.

"Neh, Hotaru?" Hotaru grunted in reply, showing her that she was listening. Mikan looked up at the sky as she continued. "This morning, when I got to see all of you, I thought that today was gonna be a great day. Then at lunch, I wasn't so sure anymore." Mikan smiled sheepishly when Hotaru glanced at her, worried. "But now…I don't have any doubts that tomorrow, when I look back on this day, I'll remember it as one of the best days of my life." She beamed at Hotaru. "And it's all because of you. Thanks Hotaru." Hotaru smiled in reply.

"If there wasn't someone to take care of you, who knows what would've happened to you by now. After all, you are an idiot."

"Hahaha, well, I'm lucky enough to have a good caretaker, neh?" Mikan smiled playfully.

"Of course," Hotaru's voice lacked any hint of emotion, but Mikan knew their playful banter. She just smiled and looked away as they walked side by side, in comfortable silence.

Mikan and Hotaru walked up to the hospital steps together the next day, side by side. Mikan reached out to give Hotaru a hug, but her friend dodged it, taking a step to the side.

"You can give me a hug when you go to school again." It was Sunday so there was no school, but Mikan had to have a check up to see whether or not she could stay out of the hospital for another day.

"Mou, Hotaru! You know there's nothing I can do about it! I have to take the check up; even though we both know that I probably will have to stay at the hospital!" Mikan pouted, sticking her bottom lip forward.

"Then we'll just have to wait till you're better again, won't we, Baka." With that, Hotaru began to walk away, telling Mikan to call her when she knew if she was staying or not. Mikan did get it at all. Hotaru obviously knew that the chances of Mikan being well enough to go to school for another day were nil; she only got to come out for a day every month or so. She giggled. Mikan assumed it was just Hotaru's way of telling her to get better soon.

In a considerably better mood, Mikan made her way up the stairs and into the hospital, where she walked to the counter and was greeted by the receptionist. Of course they knew her; she was always here. Mikan smiled in reply and went to the doctor's office where she would get her check up. Mikan did hate the hospital, she knew that for sure. Despite all that, however, she loved every single person here, the staff, other patients, she even got to know some of the frequent visitors. Just because the hospital was a horrible place, didn't mean that the people inside weren't some of the nicest people she had ever met!

Mikan opened the door to the doctor's office, where she took the routine tests. She had taken them so many times; each one was as natural as breathing to her. So when she heard that she wasn't able to go to school tomorrow, it didn't hurt quite as much as it would've in the past. She just sighed and, with a small wave to her doctor, proceeded to walk towards the phones to call Hotaru and give her the news that she had surely already expected.

Once at the pay phones, Mikan dug through her pockets, looking for extra change. Once she found it, she dialed the all too familiar number.

"Hotaru?"

"What?"

"You know what, Hotaru!" Mikan sighed. She never would understand her best friend.

"So I'm taking that to mean that you're staying at the hospital?" Her voice was curt and to the point.

"Yeah, give my love to the others, kay?" Hotaru grunted in reply. "Okay, I promise I'll see you once I get permission to leave again!" With that, Hotaru hung up, leaving Mikan with holding a phone and babbling away before she finally realized what had happened.

Frowning at the fact that her conversation was cut short, Mikan sat down on the bench in front of the pay phones, and closed her eyes, resting for a moment. She didn't feel sick at all, but apparently the doctor had decided that it was best to avoid sickness instead of treating it once it arrived. Not that Mikan disagreed with the choice, but she couldn't help wishing that it could be otherwise.

Hearing footsteps for the umpteenth time, Mikan pried one eye open. It was quite annoying, really. She was in a hallway that not many people went to, unless they had to use the phones. Therefore it was almost always empty, seeing as everyone had a cell phone these days.

So when she heard footsteps the first time, she ignored them, assuming that it was a visitor or patient calling someone. When she heard no voice, she hadn't thought anything of it, though it registered in her mind. Only when she heard the sound of someone walking back and forth, did she open her eyes to see what was going on.

Natsume was ashamed. How could this happen to him? Why did the world feel the need to make his day worse than it already was by putting him in this predicament? He hated it. Natsume Hyuuga was not a happy camper.

He and his sister had moved from Hiroshima to Tokyo, while his parents were overseas on a business trip, as they always were. Aoi needed to be transferred to another hospital because the other one had been too full. He had been optimistic and excited, even though he didn't show it at all. Maybe this was where Aoi would finally gain her sight back. He quickly retracted the thought once he learned what kind of people lived in Tokyo. Here, he discovered that apparently, people in Tokyo felt the need to gawk at an innocent passerby and ask them to join modeling agencies. What was with that? People even asked him to take _pictures with him_. Why in the world would they do that? Not to mention that when he went to the school he would be attending from now on, girls surrounded him and asked him all sorts of idiotic questions. 'Oh, where did you come from?' 'Do you have any siblings?' 'What's your favorite color?' 'Do you like Chihuahuas?' If he didn't know any better, he would think that they were stalkers. It continued throughout the day, and he could barely stop himself from yelling at anyone who came within five feet of him.

Then he went to visit Aoi at the hospital, which brought him to where he was now. Lost. Yes, he, Natsume Hyuuga, was lost. He had been looking everywhere in this goddamn maze people call a hospital, and just couldn't find room 312! He had been exploring a certain corridor, walking up and down it for a while, when the unthinkable happened. Some random girl on a bench was trying not to laugh at him! _Laugh at him._ As he made his way down the hallway for the fourth time, the stupid girl finally let out a small giggle. He stopped in his tracks, with his back facing the girl, and slowly turned around. Once they made eye contact, she burst out laughing. Gasping for air, when the girl looked like she was about to say something patronizing, Natsume glared.

"Don't…say…a…word…"he spoke slowly, drawling out the sound of each word and looked away quickly when the girl looked like she was going to burst out laughing again. Frustrated, and at a complete loss of what to do, he began to storm off, when the girl finally spoke.

"Lost, are we?" Natsume paused. Her tone was condescending, stating the obvious, but waiting for him to admit it. Natsume decided that he didn't like this girl very much. When he ignored her, she spoke up again, as if she didn't want him to leave. "Ah! Wait!" he turned around slowly, and gave her an impatient stare, telling her to hurry up and spit it out. "I could help you, you know?" She gave him a cocky grin; like she knew that he wanted anything but getting help from her, though he didn't have much of a choice.

Natsume pondered over it for a second. Should he keep his pride and refuse her offer, or should he accept it, losing a bit of his dignity but ending this dilemma once and for all? He really didn't want to admit defeat and get help but…Natsume began to walk towards the smiling girl, deciding that he would rather lose his pride now then wander around for another hour and ask someone else.

The girl in question smiled playfully. "Admitting defeat, huh?" Natsume shot her a glare.

"Just tell me where room 312 is already." Humming to herself, the brunette began to walk off and, with a flick of her head, indicated that he should follow her. Sighing in defeat, Natsume followed her slowly. This was going to be a long day.

"Neh, you're new here, right?" The girl looked back at him and smiled. "After all, no one else would get that lost unless it was their first time here." She giggled to herself again. Natsume hated how she always felt the need to bring that up over and over again. She took her silence as a yes. "I'm Mikan Sakura, nice to meet you, though I'm not so sure you feel the same way. Anyhoo, whenever you feel the need to get lost again, you can ask me for directions; I know this place like the back of my hand, maybe even better." Natsume didn't understand this girl at all. First, she laughs at a lost stranger when, apparently, she already knew that he had never been here before. Wasn't the normal reaction supposed to be to help him _without _laughing at him or making any remote reference to the fact that he was lost?! Then, she says that it was nice to meet him, even though he was sure that it was just because he gave her a good laugh, which was definitely _not _his intention. And even stranger, she basically told him that she's always in the hospital as a patient, meaning she has some serious disease. Is that something you usually tell strangers? Natsume would never understand women.

When they arrived at room 312, Natsume couldn't help but feel relieved. He was done with this alien-like girl and could finally see Aoi again. He was also pretty confident that he wouldn't get lost again. So imagine his surprise when the girl walked over to the room next to Aoi's and opened the door.

"Guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other, neh? And try not to get lost again," She grinned widely as she walked inside and closed the door, leaving an awestruck Natsume behind. Shaking his head, he walked inside the room.

"Aoi, people in Tokyo are crazy."

**Haha, I couldn't come up with a title; can you tell? So I just decided on something short and simple, no matter how common it might be :P So how was it?? Lol, I'm having a bit of fun making Mikan tease Natsume, instead of the other way around. Oh, anyone recognize the part when Anna and Nonoko accidently hurt Mikan?? Hehehe, I got the idea for that from THE BEST BOOK IN THE WORLD, Ender's Game!! I love that book :D Sorry if it was all a bit OOC, I meant for it to be a bit like that. I think I like the way Natsume's character turned out And how Hotaru could be nice too :) Well, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!! Hopefully I'll see all of you again soon, with another chapter :D Though it probably won't be as long as this one; I kinda dragged this one out…**

**~Faithful Dreamer**


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